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No matter what Starbucks you go to, from Los Angeles to New York City, you'll see a barista there. In fact, I'm willing to bet that a barista will be patiently waiting at the register for you to order. They'll probably write your name and order on a cup and pass it along to be made. What, don't believe me? Go to a Starbucks and see for yourself!

 

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This is the barista working the other register next to the first barista. Barista #2 most likely hopped on the second register because the line behind you was getting pretty long, and she wanted to make sure everyone ordered in a quick and orderly fashion. Typical Starbucks, am I right?     

 

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You're in the middle of pretending to work on that novel when you notice it--a barista sweeping the floor. It's like, did the floor look kind of dirty so you decided to sweep it? I mean, is that barista really just sweeping, like it's part of their job? Only at Starbucks!

 

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If I had a dime for every time I went to Starbucks and saw a barista taking orders from the drive-thru, I would no doubt most definitely be one rich dude. They're just standing there with their headset on and taking orders like it's nobody's business. Is this headset-wearing barista even aware that he's in a frickin' Starbucks? 

 

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I just can't wrap my head around this one--and if you've ever been to a Starbucks before you'll understand where I'm coming from. A barista. On a break. What, so he's been working for two hours and needs to take his legally mandated fifteen minute break? And he's reading a Song of Ice and Fire novel before he gets back to work? Come on, how much can you really read and process in fifteen minutes? Please, give me a break.  

 

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You can't see this person, but they're there, believe me. Maybe punching the clock, or taking their lunch, or doing other back office shenanigans, but I can assure you that probably every Starbucks maybe has a barista in the backroom just doing stuff.   

 

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I am willing to wager all of the rewards on my gold card that if you go to a Starbucks you will definitely see (cue long, obnoxious drum roll) the store manager. Yeah that's right, I said store manager! She's probably in the back office with that other barista from before, writing reports and checking the store's inventory or doing other managerial shit. The manager is probably the same person who reminded #5 to take his break because this particular Starbucks is considerate of their employees and doesn't want to overwork them. Her name is something like Pamela, and she's probably the sweetest person ever. So cliché!