Think you're a TRUE Disneyhead? Well that's not a word, but if it were and you were one, even the biggest Disney film fanatics still haven't seen every Disney classic in its entirety -- a number of Disney movies had to cut some extremely important scenes for various reasons and ended up never seeing the light of day. And we at CollegeHumor have exclusive access to them, for reasons that will remain secret but definitely aren't made up.

Here, to blow your Disney-loving MIND, are the lost storyboards from 5 Incredible Never-Before Seen Disney Deleted Scenes:

 

1. Ariel Goes On A Bunch Of Failed Dates With 'Finance' Mermen

 

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At the start of The Little Mermaid, 16-year-old Ariel (!!) is already jaded by her underwater surroundings and is desperate to roam the earth with the humans, and instantly falls in love with a Handsome Prince after seeing that he has a dog, a statue of himself, and isn't a direct asshole in the 4 seconds she's around him. But why is Ariel so immediately-infatuated with Eric and completely uninterested in her own species?

There's an answer: The original cut of the film actually included a 15-minute "dating montage" where Ariel reluctantly goes on dates with a series of lame sea dudes, including a 'Finance Merman' who spends a the whole dinner explaining shell-trading, a seahorse from Flounder's intramural softball team (who's not bad just kinda non-talkative and boring), and a recently-divorced marlin who doesn't get any of Ariel's early-80s cultural references.



2. Cruella de Vil Hires Two Goons Who Are Totally Cool With Slaughtering Puppies

 

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Understandably cut for time and lack of music/whimsy, 1961's 101 Dalmatians originally featured a scene where Cruella de Vil hires her two dog-stealing henchmen and keeps repeating "Again, to be totally clear: your jobs WILL eventually require you to murder and skin hundreds of puppies for the purpose of fashion. You're cool with that?" and the goons are like "whatever" then they spend the next 10 minutes discussing a 401k and a start date, then they both fill out W-9s (British ones).



3. Simba Re-Sods The Earth Around Pride Rock & Convinces All The Prey Animals To Return

 

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At the end of Scar's brutal reign as Lion King (overseeing nature's still-Feudalistic, Divine-Right-based system of government), the area around Pride Rock is completely desolate and grey, and Scar's enslaved sister-in-law informs him that the herds have "moved on" and the lions have to relocate. Right after Scar is defeated, though, Simba and Nala are shown ruling over the exact same area and it's completely lush and green again.

This appears to be a weird, impossible turn of events, but there's actually a deleted scene completely explaining this, where Simba personally re-sods the earth around Pride Rock with a bag of fertilizer and some seeds, then he convinces the herds of zebras and gazelles and other animals to return to Pride Rock so they can be eaten by the regal lions on a regular basis (he's an incredibly shrewd negotiator.)

In the end, directors Rob Minkoff and Roger Allers deemed the Zebras' song "Fiiiiine We'll Come Back So You Can Eat Us, You're The Man, Simba" too clunky and exceedingly graphic.



4. Aladdin Unsuccessfully Applies For Jobs

 

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To really hammer home the "street rat with a heart of gold" backstory of its protagonist, Aladdin originally included a scene before the song "One Step" -- where Aladdin resorts to stealing a loaf of bread and evading soldiers -- in which the street rat desperately tries to go legit, interviewing for dozens upon dozens of menial entry-level jobs but being rejected at every turn for lack of connections and general bazaaring experience (even though, as he keeps yelling in the scene, "I can't GET experience without GETTING the jobs, you [Bleeping Bleeps]." The film was originally PG-13).

Instead, the final version of Aladdin opens with the well-meaning character already stealing stuff, though he does ultimately give it away to even sadder urchins. But rest assured, he definitely tried really REALLY hard to get jobs first before he started thieving shit.



5. Gaston's Family Tearfully Buries His Mangled Corpse

 

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Beauty and the Beast originally ended with Gaston's parents and siblings tearfully burying his mangled body in a grim funeral scene (after it was painstakingly reconstructed by a funeral director be somewhat presentable), but the scene was cut at the last minute due to a nagging, unfixable microphone hit on the audio track of Gaston's mother shrieking. However, a shorter audio-free version of this scene -- as well as some storyboard of the smalltown constabulary attempting to identify Gaston's corpse through his dental records -- are available on the "Beauty and the Beast: Extra-Enchanted Edition" Blu-Ray Special Features.

 

Illustrations by Paul Westover.