Lots of people are needlessly shy about approaching an unfamiliar dog that they'd like to pet. But you don't have to be afraid! Dogs are naturally attracted to confidence and swagger, and even the best-looking ones just want to be pet by a human who knows what they're doing. Here are some expert PUA seduction secrets that will have you petting ANY dog you want before you can say "woof":

 

1. BE ALOOF

No pup wants to be stroked by a desperado. That's why you don't want to show your hand by staring, making kissy-face noises, or whistling -- at least not right away. For now, make them think you don't want it, even though your fingertips are ACHIN' 4 THAT FUR.


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2. BRING A WINGMAN

Not only will cruising in tandem up your confidence, but your wingman can also do you a solid by pouncing on a "grenade" who's rolling with your target. You know, like a mangy dog with really matted fur, or, god forbid, a cat. (You'd owe your wingman a SERIOUS beer for that one, though!)

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3. PEACOCKING

Okay, it's time to get down to the business of attracting bitches (or male dogs, if that's who you want to pet). Demonstrate your value to everyone in the place by "accidentally" dropping a dog treat on the ground and picking it up. "Whoops."

Yeah, that's right. She's f*cking salivating.

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4. NEGGING

After that display, you won't even have to think of a clever approach -- the DOG will be coming to YOU. Make them crave your touch even more with a subtle neg. For example: "You're pretty cute, for a mutt," or, "I bet your fur would be really soft if you took care of it."

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5. MAKE THEM JEALOUS

You'll be tempted to go in for the pet right now, but resist! Make your original target crazy with jealousy by petting another dog instead. Bonus points: make eye contact with your target while you do it. She'll be slobbering all over you in no time.

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Congratulations! Now go f*ck that dog.

 

Images via Shutterstock.