If, like me, you're taking social cues from Kesha, you know that great songs don't always set great examples. Here are a few that have led me astray:
Walking around metal detectors may be sexy, but it turns out that unless you're Remy, it's not very cool. You probably won't get to the top of the VIP guest list, but you will earn yourself a spot on the FBI watch list! Almost as glamorous!
2. "Buttons" by The Pussycat Dolls
The Pussycat Dolls are good at a lot of things -- for instance, making me want to go to the gym more often. What they might not be great at is giving sexy sex advice. Not really sure how buttons can be loosened, but I bet that it's an extra step that takes a lot of time and will sound really weird when I suggest it as foreplay.
Everytime I've tried to sit outside of my house with milkshakes, they usually melt, and no boys come to the yard. If she means shaking her boobs, I think I have a better chance with the literal milkshakes.
4. "Booty Wurk" by T-Pain
This song, though catchy, gives me a couple of bad ideas. First, stopping my car in the middle of the street to play music out of my trunk doesn't usually make anyone very happy -- not actually cool. Second, walking up to a club bare-footed is not sexy, unless tetanus turns you on. So maybe that's a personal preference thing.
5. "Upgrade U" by Beyonce
As far as I know, Beyonce can do no wrong. That being said, if anyone else tries to crash their man's big-shot "meeting for the mils" in an attempt to "compliment the deal," it'll probably just be weird and kind of annoying.
6. "Rude Boy" by Rihanna
Rihanna is a badass and always repping female empowerment, however, it would seem that actually asking a boy if he can "get it up" before sex is usually not that sexy in reality, but is an effective way to give him performance anxiety!
Brushing her teeth with Jack Daniels may work out perfectly fine for Kesha, but it's not very sexy when anyone else tries to do it. It definitely can't help your morning breath, and showing up wasted to work at 9am is probably not as cool as it sounds.
I don't know what Jessie J can get away with, but everytime I buy a round of drinks and tell the bartender "Oh no, I'm paying with love tonight," he does not think that that's cool or sexy.
I know that I'm no celebrity, and maybe the world that they live in is different, but it turns out that in my world, getting my make-up all over a guy's passport by making out with it is considered weird and incredibly irritating, not hot. Noted.