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You're just leanin' back in your desk chair, watchin' the game, laughing a few times (as you do at games), and ignoring the 9 screens of security footage located eighteen inches to the right. Fall asleep in some candy bar wrappers. Just another boring night of security guardin' at the ol' super-important company.

 

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Take turns bantering about whose turn it is to do a "sweep." Some example dialogue:


You:
Hey buddy, think you can do a sweep? Or is that too much exercise for one day?


Your Even Chubbier Partner, Eating A Sandwich: Buuuulll shiiit, it's your turn to do a sweep. Get off your ass for once.


You:
FINE. You sound like my wife.

 

 

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Shine the light on a couple random spots: A stairwell, a cardboard box, some shelves, the perfectly human-shaped "Hiding Chamber." Nothing seems amiss.

 

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Just another uneventful night at the headquarters of the huge shady company you're pretty sure is developing doomsday robots. Not your problem though. Wonder what's happening in the game?

 

 

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SOMETHING MADE A RUSTLING NOISE! Was it someone sneaking in to infiltrate your company and steal something of critical importance? Or just like, a mouse? It's almost certainly a mouse. Better go check out that mouse, it's probably super adorable. Maybe you can make it your pet and let it keep you company!

 

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Don't just walk over to the noise: Take deliberate, loud heel-toe steps towards it, and keep saying "Helllllooo? Is someone there?" at the noise. This will keep the noise at bay. And if it is someone infiltrating your company, they will respond "Yes, we're here, you got us" and you can proceed to calmly eject them from the building.

 

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Shine the light in their face and say "FREEZE! Hold it RIGHT there. Who are you?" Momentarily let your guard down to radio for assistance. You should be fine, the sole intruder is standing there right in front of you, and your back's niiiice and clear.

 

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Bulge out your eyes for a sec then topple over.

 

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Uhoh, looks like they stole your keys, Walkie Talkie, and uniform, and now you're tied to a steel cabinet with a giant rope wrapping around you eleven times!

 

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Seventeen years on the job and the first time something actually happened, you instantly blew it. Ah well.

On the plus side, at least the people who knocked you out are UNQUESTIONABLY saving the world, so that's good!