Kim Kardashian's mobile game is addictive, mind-numbingly stupid, but also self-aware. Here are the highlights so you don't have to waste any time playing it.
1. From the start, meeting Kim is the best thing to ever happen to your life.You are forced to give her a dress for free. (Even though you don't own the store, she can obviously afford it, and I'm pretty sure that's illegal.)
2. Also, you are forced to compliment her house. Again, you have no other option than to bow down to Her Majesty.
3. This is your manager Simon. He's a Kanye fan, of course.
4. He also doesn't know how to appropriately use the kids' lingo, but we just ignore that.
5. Or maybe he does understand the lingo and is just weird. We're not sure.
6. You spend a lot of the game trying to network. If playing this game wasn't depressing enough, sometimes you are reminded of your own mortality.
7. Expect to get insulted by your dates.
8. Like a lot ... you really shouldn't stand to be treated like this ...
9. Even the Goddess Princess Kim is sometimes mean to you. Even on your birthday, all you get is a hand hug.
10. When people are nice to you, it's also pretty messed up.
11. But it does offer the occassional jabs at celebrity culture. Way to playfully nibble at the hand that feeds, Kim.
This game will leave you questioning whether the Kardashians are genius at marketing and know how to play the system or if they just have enough money to hire the right team. Either way, it's vapid superficial, and surprisingly not bad.