Fragrances don't just sell scents, they sell lifestyles. Whatever name they give, there's usually some tenuous link to what they smell like and the vague things they're supposed to evoke. Although at some point, you get the feeling that they really stopped trying and they've just opened a dictionary and starting choosing random words.

1. Canoe, by Dana

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The camp counselor is the perfect embodiment of what it means to be a man. The counselor is a father to his campers, a brother to his fellows, and a titan to his lovers. And his musk is that of the canoe. This strong earthy scent with hints of dirty lakewater and aluminum is perfect for the man who wants to say, "Hey girl, wanna fool around in my bunk?"

2. Grey Flannel, by Geoffrey Beene

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Sawdust and wood chips accentuate the natural cloth-smell of grey flannel. Perfect for the burly lumberjack or boring hipster, this scent perfectly encapsulates the inherently masculine presence of the fabric. If you're a man's man looking for someone to fell your great oak, then try Grey Flannel.

3. Opium, by Yves Saint Laurent

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For the man whose love is truly a drug. Addictive, potent, and illegal for recreational use, a night of passion with you is likely to end her up in rehab or jail. A strong base derived from the scent of the poppy flower combines with overtones of sweat and vomit for a truly unique olfactory experience. Perfect for the man who's not afraid to smell like an 19th-century San Francisco brothel.

4. True Religion, by True Religion

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Money, power, influence, the men of the Catholic Church seem to have it all. But with this decadently opulent scent you can have the one thing they can't... a woman. Reminiscent of old candle wax and musty parchment, this aggressive scent screams "I'm a man... of the cloth."

5. Pi, by Givenchy

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Few can claim to truly live the pi lifestyle. But the cunning mathematician who does is truly a casanova. Like his protractor, he's always got an angle. His functions have no limit, and his liquor isn't the only thing with a strong proof. The strong smell of calculator batteries and pencil lead in this scent evoke a man who, like pi, is irrational, unpredictable, and never stops.

6. Gendarme, by Gendarme

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France is known for many things: its fantastic cuisine, beautiful countryside, and unique urban nightlife. But nothing trumps la France's stellar military law enforcement. This full scent with heavy tinges of tear gas and rubber bullets is so sexy it might just cause a riot... of women.

7. Thallium, by Jacques Evard

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Is that a periodic table of the elements in your pants, or are you just turned on by the seductive smell of the 81st element, a soft gray post-transition metal not found freely in nature? If you want to spark some "chemistry" and get more than just her atomic number, this scent is yours.

8. Quorum, by Antonio Puig

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Set your woman on fire with a fragrance that says, "the minimum number of members of an assembly or society that must be present at any of its meetings to make the proceedings of that meeting valid." This refined scent will get her hotter than watching an hour of congressional proceedings on C-Span 2. If you're a man who's not afraid to filibuster with the ladies, this is your cologne.