7. Pineapple Easy Slicer
A must-have for anyone in a Hawaiian shirt or those who might quickly need a good place to store their weed. Wait a second, those are the same people!
8. "HAPIfork" Digital Fork
This smart fork lets you know when you're eating too fast and that you have far too much money.
9. Pizza Scissors
Why would anyone want to slice their own pizza? Everyone knows that if it comes uncut, it only counts as one giant piece. A giant piece that I'll totally pay you back for, by the way.
10. Clear Toaster
Not knowing how blackened your bread is going to get is half the fun of putting it in the toaster. The other half, of course, being eating other slices from the bag while killing time and realizing that it tastes just as good without having to wait around for some weird little oven to pop out a burnt version of it.
11. Citrus Sprayers
Finally, the all-natural alternative to silly string that no one has been waiting for.
I don't know what that thing is, but keep it the hell away from me.