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Who decided to make Philosophy tough, and who decided that there was a way to get a ten-page paper out of asking if something is "right"? They came in with no textbook, basing their entire moral compass on what they've learned from watching House of Cards.

 

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Even though the campus showers are disgusting, you never thought you'd see someone avoid them altogether. They come to class like they got dressed for Woodstock in the dark, ready to quickly insert their opinion about the patriarchy and gay marriage into the class's discussion of "if it's okay to lie".

 

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Aristotle, Kant, Mills, Freud, and a bunch of other old white guys. They've read them all, and are ready to show up everyone else in the class with a 12-point argument on why it's immoral to have fun.

 

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Everyone in the class can see through their ruse. Their questions of "Well, is it really THAT bad if someone took a shit on the quad? Okay, but what if they were drunk, and REALLY about it?" don't fool anyone. They're here to convince themselves their weekend was moral, kind of like a confession you get college credit for.

 

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There really isn't a way to be a badass when debating the morality of abortion, but damn if this kid doesn't try. No matter the question, they immediately want to play devil's advocate in the worst possible way, thinking that their edgy opinion on the death penalty will earn them points with anyone outside this class.

 

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It is possible to talk about social issues in a casual setting. Everyone in class can agree to stick to the general facts and opinions, except them. Mid way through a debate on recreational drug use, they pepper in how their parents were both drug addicts and once tried to sell her to their dealer. No one else in class will have a comment to equal this intensity, and the silence will grow until the teacher awkwardly dismisses the class.

 

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Not everything in life has to do with sex, just most of it. This person will be utterly bored and shutdown during talks about "If it's okay to cheat" or "How bad is stealing", but they come alive when the subject gets R rated. They will be intensely interested in the morality of one night stands, multiple partners, and everything else they wish they were a part of.

 

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This one is the worst. They will not talk. They will not add to the conversation. Any notes they take are probably just for some comedy list they're making. They'll just sit there, judging the shit out of every single one of you.