Advice columnists have been helping people out of pickles for generations, whether the issue is a failing mairiage, or falling in love with a man's third nipple (Yeah, get ready for that one). However, sometimes that arrangement doesn't go according to plan, be it the fault of some comically inept reading comprehension skills or the case of the advice seeker having a lot bigger problems than the question at hand (both, even!). Here are some weirdos desperately trying to get help from the wrong people:

 

1) Or he could lock the door, like a normal masturbator. 

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via allfunnyimages

 

2) I think Danny might have some things he has to deal with before he's allowed to be published again... 

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via the guardian

 

3) Oh, to be young and trollin' for CamToads....

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via evoxforums
 

 

4) Yeah, there's definitely some W.E.B. Du Bois mixed somewhere in there..Only explanation.

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via imgur

 

5) I like to imagine this is Chandler Bing and Janice.

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via noodlesoup22 

 

6) Real. Talk.

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via indiamike

 

7) She may still have a broken marriage, but now she has a perfectly functioning fuel pump!

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via imgur

 

8) Definitely ditch 'em; pregnant fiancees are total nags, bro.

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via the bopfblog

 

9) And this is why you never help a post man. Or have sex with a dog.

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via stupedist