undefined

Weekly TV Show Followship

God(s):  Weiner; Gilligan; The Two-R'd Martin

Places of worship:  Not NBC.

Beliefs:  To find out life's true meaning would only be to spoil it.

 

undefined

The Church Of MORNING COFFEE And Latte Day Saints

God(s):  Keurig; He Who Writes The Names; Interns

Places of worship:  Most buildings.

Beliefs:  Don't even TALK to God before he's had his coffee ;-)

  

undefined

Orthodox Order Out For Foodaism

God(s):  Hub, Grub; The One Without Seams

Places of worship:  Your apartment.

Beliefs:  If one wants to experience deliverance, they should show thy true self within 20 minutes or less.

 

undefined

BenchPresbyterian

God(s):  Schwarzenegger; Rock, The; Ripped Elders Of Gymnasium

Places of worship:  Mondays: Back and Biceps, Tuesday/Thursdays: Chest and Legs, Friday: Cardio, Saturday: Sin Day

Beliefs:  All good things come to those who whey.

 

undefined

Phonotheism, the worship of the one true phone

Appostles:  Twitter; Snapchat; Instagram, son of Facebook

Places of worship:  Bed, toilet, car, school, toilet, work, car, toilet, couch, bed

Beliefs:  The age of enlightenment is now.  Or now.  Or maybe now.  One sec.

 

undefined

Church of SportsFantology

God(s):  He Who Is Paid The Most

Places of worship:  Fan Interest Level's I-IV: Internet, Level's V-VI: TV, Level VII: Stadiums, Level VIII:. Revealed only to those who reach Level VIII.

Beliefs:  You cannot measure one's life by their successes nor defeats, but instead, only by one's amount of fun they were having out there.

 

undefined

DankBudhism (and the art of transcendental self-medication)

God(s):  Siblings, Older; Celebrities, Stoner; He Who Discovered Leftovers

Places of worship:  Colorado, Washington, The Other 48 States

Beliefs:  No one has EVER died from worship.  Look it up.  Check the facts.

 

undefined

Faptism

God(s):  Jameson; Jeremy; That Hot Person You Saw On The Way To Work

Places of worship:  More places than you'd be comfortable knowing about.

Beliefs:  All men were NOT created equal.


Illustrated by John Fisk