Change who you are to get others to like you.
Working hard is dumb and overrated and you shouldn't do it.
You don't need a map. Asking for directons is emasculating.
Even your computer is going to leave you. So why bother?
It's fine to be friends with the nerd, just make sure when the day's done he's still the one writing the paper for all of you.
Violence can cure schizophrenia.
The best thing to do when you encounter adversity is to run away.
Trick women until they like you back.
If trouble strikes, don't call the police. Your best weapons are paint cans and marbles.
If you're afraid of taking a chance, don't.