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You love this guy. He's been your wingman for as long as you can remember; always trying to lead you on the right path.  Headin' towards disaster? He'll stop you. Can't find the right target? He's got you covered. The dude somehow always has the foxes on his radar. Sometimes it might seem like he's taking it a little seriously, but that's how you know he cares.

 

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He's your ride for the night.  I mean, he's not always a guarantee to come out, but if he's in your block, he'll show up.  The guy never seems to drink, but he likes to eat, so if you want to keep him happy, you'll probably wanna feed him at some point.  But word of advice: he's a little sensitive, so don't piss him off or he'll split.

 

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You'll be talkin' up some girl for a while, feeling like you're making some progress, when you turn your back for ONE second and all-of-a-sudden, BOOM, this spineless SOB is there, mackin' your lady.  He'll think the whole situations funny, but it's not.  Back off, man.  Don't worry though, he'll disappear immediately if confronted.  Coward.

 

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This dude is huge.  And scary looking.  He has to be, when it's his job to stop the wrong people from getting past him.  You've convinced yourself, though, that he's the type of huge dude that is all look and no substance.  Like, if it came down to it, he probably can't actually scrap & you could run circles around him.  He probably just took the job because of the power trip.  Or maybe because he thought it'd help him get girls, but you seriously doubt that ever works out.

 

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Every bar wouldn't be complete without the typical meathead jock, frat bro.  He usually comes in with his own little entourage, and at some point, he'll probably get too loud and belligerent and be asked to leave.  He won't care though, because he'll inevitably be throwing a huge kegger at his place later anyways.  

 

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This smooth social operator takes on different personalities depending who he's around, in an attempt to fit in and act cool, but in reality he couldn't be more full of hot air. "No way, you liked Maze Runner?  I'm HUUUGE into Maze Runner!"  BS.  He's just trying to get into your pants.  Seriously ladies, stay away from this guy.  He's not as innocent as he looks.  He'll chew you up and spit you out without showing even an ounce of remorse.

 

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This poor sap is a regular, and spends most of his time complaining about work -- how he never gets that promotion he's in line for, how he never gets any recognition, etc. etc.  Always tossing around tons of 'what ifs.'  And worst of all, once he gets a few in him, he'll start complaining about his family issues.  Yikes.  Kinda depressing.  Yeah, best not to engage him unless you have absolutely no other option.

 

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Immediately upon entering the bar, this striking woman will catch your eye.  So mature, so much better dressed than everybody (seriously, you don't know what she does for a living, but that suit looks EXPENSIVE), she's very intriguing.  The problem is, every other guy in the bar agrees, ESPECIALLY the creeps.  Luckily, she's as hardened as they come, so she deflects their advances like a pro.  They never even really stood a chance.  The problem is, neither did you.  Which leads us to...

 

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Hey.  At least he gets you.

 

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