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YEAAHHHH, check out my BADASS PIRATE SWORD. YARRRRR!!!! I be needin' some help carryin' these beers back to whaarr we standin'! Seriously could you hold this for a sec? Cool. DAMMIT, left my wallet on the bar. Hang on I'll be right back.

YARRR I'M BACK YE SCURVY DOGS!!!! But I gotta run to the bathroom real quick. Can you hold my sword, beer, and this parrot prop? It fell off the last time I went to the bathroom and got back-splashed with some pee. I paper-toweled it off though, it's cool. Thanks!



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OOOOOH, every time someone joins the party, they'll have to guess who's under here! What a nice fun little game of whimsy!

Exceeeeepttt I can't really see anything while the mask is on, unless it's directly in front of me and down a little bit and only the size of a tiny slit. And it's getting REALLY hot in here. And all I can hear is the sound of your own breath as it recycles inside this tiny face chamber and heats it up.

OK, fine, I'll take the mask off. But only for a few seconds to catch my breath, then it's right back on, cause I made a commitment, dammit. Actually screw this. I'm officially updating my costume to just be "This Character Hanging Out At A Party With Their Mask Off"

 

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"Ok, so you've seen Star Wars, right?"


"Yeah, a bunch of times."


"You know when they meet Han Solo in the Mos Eisley Cantina?"


"Ohh, are you Greedo?"


"No, you know right before that, when the alien tries to fight Luke?"


"Oooh, are you that thing who gets his arm cut off by Obi-Wan?"


"Kind of. The actor who played that thing actually has a son who writes expanded universe novels, and there's a character in one of those who kinda looks like Greedo except..."


[Other Person is already five rooms away]



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INCREDIBLE HULK COMIN' THROUGH!!! Hulk smash!!!! Hulk notice it a little hot in here. Hulk kind of sweating. Hulk get some green on host couch!!! Hulk apologize. HULK CLOTHES ALL GREEN!! Hulk wonder why he decide to wear one of his actually-nice white dress shirts for this shit, dammit, why didn't I try this stupid paint on before I did this?? I mean uh, Hulk have fun at party, whatever. Shit. I'm real sorry about your couch, dude.



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I... did not realize this vampire costume would literally be the size that it is in the box photo. Welp. Enjoy my sexy flesh, dozen co-workers and some friends of theirs I don't know! Glad we could cross this line together.