So yes, the new Jurassic World poster debuted today and of course we're all (cautiously) WAY PSYCHED about it. Here it is, in all it's glory:
Oh. I mean, very cool obviously. Buuut... it's also basically the first Jurassic Park poster? That you dipped in carbonite? Again, huge fan of the series. HUGE. But there's so much more this poster could have been. And for that, we turn to the world of Jurassic Park Fan Art.
Yes. Aside from Laura Dern, these were the only castmembers to not get killed or brought back in a sequel. THIS poster makes me go, "Yeah, let's see these two be badasses and use the word 'hacker' a lot."
You ever think, "Hmm, Jurassic Park wasn't sexy enough." First off, you're wrong. Goldblum, laying on the gurney, remember? But if you're looking for a movie based off a video game ripping off Lara Croft, then look no further. Also featuring a T-Rex who "can't even".
You know what the Jurassic Park franchise needs? More Loki. And put him in a company windbreaker. I mean, not a great one, one for like the parking lot attendant. We've seen the park, but what happens to the CARS of people killed by dinosaurs? This movie seeks to answer that question.
You know that Native American logo TV stations would show in the 1950s when they just ran out of programs to air? What if we made a movie about that guy, but there's also velociraptors.
Finally, the Jurassic Park / Captain Planet crossover movie millenials have been waiting for. This poster has already broken box office records.