Probably Teaching: Creative Writing/Art/Acting
This teacher is crazy whimsical, always has miscellaneous stuff caught in her hair (on purpose or...) and is a huge proponent of students "teaching themselves and each other." Her syllabus is hand written in crayon on recycled paper, and she has a million fun, themed sweaters.
Probably Teaching: Statistics/Computer Science
What is she even saying? Honestly, you'll probably never know. She only teaches classes at 9am, and if you're in one it's likely that she will put you to sleep. You will have a vague idea of what her face looks like but mostly you would never be able to spot her in a crowd. This will not upset you.
Probably Teaching: Ethics/US History
Tough, but like dad-tough. Also will be weirdly involved in your personal life...How does he know about your relationships status? Seriously, he'll always ask you how you and Brian are doing, but like, in a stern kind of way. He's also always going to sign his emails with inspirational, jargon-y quotations by Benjamin Franklin and Henry David Thoreau. But he's cool.
Probably Teaching: Econ, obviously.
This. guy. is. so. boring. OH my god. So naturally you'll never go to class. And when you don't go to class you'll get a million emails from him that will be mostly timid and passive aggressive like, "Tom? Tom?...Tom? You feeling okay? Didn't see you in class...If sick...hope you...feel better!" What a fool.
Probably Teaching: Calculus/Psychology/Biology
This guy will seem like he has a forreal personal vendetta against you and he is going to make your life a living hell (probably not that bad but you'll be in college and you're gonna be dramatic about it). BUT, even though this guy is going to call you out in front of 100 people for having your phone out during lecture, he's going to somehow teach you very valuable lessons and you'll think about him for years after you graduate. But for now he SUCKS!
Probably Teaching: Film studies/Music Theory
This is the teacher that will be trying to realize his own personal dreams every year via his students, or else relish in the things that he achieved in his past. Most of your classes will be spent listening to his band's old CD or watching the videos he's posted on Youtube. But you love him.
Probably Teaching: English/Spanish/Freshman Seminar
This teacher is going to be pretty vanilla for the most part. Totally average, and she'll remind you of your teachers from high school. She's cool and you like her and all, but occasionally she'll show up to class super grumpy and you'll just know that she's got some sort of martial trouble going on at home. But she's cool so get off her BACK!
Probably Teaching: Astronomy/Chemistry
You're going to take one look at this teacher, and know for SURE that he is on meth or PCP or something crazy. He's going to email your class random haikus at 2 in the morning and stop lecture to go on crazy irrelevant tangents and sneak off to the bathroom a lot. His chalk might be made of cocaine. Would not put it past him.
Probably Teaching: Guidance counselor? Academic advisor?
This guy is everywhere, all the time. You know him but you're not totally sure how you know him, and he is always giving you heartfelt, fortune cookie advice. He's going to send you emails checking in on you, and every time he sees you he's going to ask you to "stop by his office" sometime to "chat." Somehow in a not creepy way. You guys will be pals. And maybe get high together? I don't know, he'll always seem like he's high.
Probably Teaching: Philosophy/Law/Anthropology
This teacher will be the master of all knowledge of everything all the time everywhere and you will worship him. And you will not be alone in worshipping him. You'll all spend more time talking about how cool he is than you have any business doing. You will cling to every word that he ever says and take it as the absolute truth and then you will completely change your religion/moral code/lifestyle/outfit choices according to your interpretation of his lessons. Then you will be president of his fan club. Then one night you'll drunkenly email him telling him how much you admire him and it's going to be super weird of you so try to skip that part.