1. Mixed Bag M&Ms
This first one isn't even technically a new candy. It's just all the M&M flavors
mixed together in one big mystery bag.
Why does this not exist yet? They can put them in a white bag like the mystery Airheads and everyone can have a great time trying to avoid the disgusting mint ones. A great time all around!
What are the two greatest cookies on Earth? Mallomars and Oreos. No question.
What's the biggest problem with the otherwise perfect Mallomar? It's shitty cardboard cookie base. So, let's scrap that crap and replace it with a delightful Oreo base.
Now we just need to find a way to sell Mallomars all year round.
3. Milkyway Crunch
Milkyways are great. Chocolate? Yum. Caramel? Terrific. Nuggat? Delightful. But there's something missing in the texture. Too much mush and not enough crunch.
Let's crunch that sucker up with a Crunch Bar base and a KitKat top.
Imagine that whole thing held together with a coat of chocolate. Mmmm. You can almost taste the diabetes.
4. Cinnamon Sugar Peeps
Peeps used to be a fine enough treat when they were only available around Easter, but now that they're being trotted out for Halloween and Christmas, the flaws have started to shine through: they're just too sweet.
Let's cut out some of that overwhelming sugar and mix in a bit of cinnamon for a truly autumnal flavor.
Granted, the presentation of these brown little powder turds leaves something to be desired, but Peeps corporation could fix that with some of their authentic sugar chemicals.
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