Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Too Cool For School
March 1, 2007
Nothing says cool like getting booted from school. And since celebrities are very, very cool the transative property states that a bunch of them must have gotten ejected from our fine learning institutions. Wouldn't you know it, the property doesn't lie!
and I are about to drop some knowledge about
got suspended from his Texas high school for stealing the answer book off his geometry teacher’s desk. Apparently, no lesson was learned, though, and the bad boy celeb went on to pursue a life of (academic) crime. According to Wes Anderson, the Rushmore director once wrote an A+ English paper for his college roommate in exchange for the biggest room in their house. Upon discovering the ruse, the professor shattered Wilson's nose with a brutal thunder-punch.
has been making questionable deals since his high school days. Back in Toronto, the budding comedian got kicked out of school for impersonating a school board member. The crime? Young Howie cut a deal with a local construction company and convinced them to start work on a “new addition” to his high school. School board officials became suspicious while reviewing the plans for 'The Mr. Jenkins Is A Fat Twat Auditorium Expansion.'
got the boot from his high school after punching the principal in the gut. In Jerry’s defense, though, the administrator was making anti-semitic comments, and it pissed the young Jerry off. The punch ended up being a great career move, though, since Lewis jetted straight from school to vaudeville. The French talk about that punch to this day as being "the funniest act of physical comedy ever performed in the history of the universe."
North by Northwest star
was working on his detective skills long before he met Alfred Hitchcock. The supposed gentleman/movie star got expelled from Fairfield Grammar School for getting caught “inspecting” the girl’s restroom. His report, filed after his expulsion, uncovered classmate Cindy Richards hiding 'itty bitty titties' in her shirt and claimed Martha Howell as being the 'Diarrhea Queen of Fairfield Grammar.'
got sent to military school for burning down his sister’s tree house. And while he did quite well there for a bit (he won the school’s leadership award), he was promptly thrown out after a fight in which he threw a tire at another student’s head. Amazingly, he did all of this without ever changing his facial expression or tone of his voice.
The original emo kid,
Edgar Allen Poe
, was also thrown out of a prestigious military school, but for a very different reason—he showed up to a West Point parade wearing “white belt and gloves, under arms” as the official code instructed… but nothing else. When asked what he was doing, Poe responded, "Just hanging out."
was kicked out of several schools. He was expelled from a prestigious New York high school for leading a goat up the stairs. It ended up being even more of a nuisance. According to internet sources, the heavy-set goat didn’t fit in the third floor elevator, and refused to walk down stairs, so it caused a huge dilemma for school officials. Apparently, in Chevy’s mind the trick was so well-received that it called for a sequel: The
star also got kicked out of Haverford College a few years later for pulling the same stunt, this time with a cow.
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