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This one is kind of fun because you get all the perks of unemployment without the terrible shame of being openly unemployed. If you feel like a nap at 3 PM on a Tuesday, head on home! Your administrator literally has not spoken to you since your first day when she gave you one vague task that could take any amount of time. She just assumes you're still working on it. Plus, this way she doesn't have to find you something else to do. It's a win-win.

 

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This is inevitable especially if you're trying to do something related to arts and your parents think you're worth the investment.  Working for free is torturous because all you can think about is how you are technically losing money all the time. Getting out of bed means being awake and being awake equals getting hungry and getting hungry means buying food which this internship doesn't help you do at all. The good news is that even minimum wage is a triumph after this.

 

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Direct generation marketing? Sure, why the hell not. Better than waking up at noon to a bunch of texts from your mom about things she would change about your resume. It's nice to have some structure, even if you have to lie through your teeth during the interview saying "This is my passion" and  "I can't wait to get started." Sooner or later they'll find you out for the fraud you are. When you get fired, it will be a blessing in disguise.

 

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You better not mess this one up or it will be super awkward the next time your parents have Karen and Allen over for dinner. You've heard it before. It's all about networking. That's how the working world works. So you show up and try to avoid mentioning to anyone that your dad plays golf with the CEO every Sunday.  Unfortunately, connections only get you so far. Unless you really stand out this whole thing will be just another poorly paid blip on your resume. On to the next one.

 

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You kind of like it in the beginning. There is something simple and therapeutic about a rote task and the first few weeks are a reverie of monotony. Then all of sudden you realize you're using 1% of your brain and you think of that movie Lucy you never saw and how maybe the rest of your brain is quickly atrophying. You try to get creative but the boss pushes back and gives you some bullshit about paying your dues. You didn't spend 4 years locked in a college library for this shit. Peace.

 

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So you asked the CEO "what he did here" while making small talk in the elevator on the first day. That was really unfortunate. Then you replied-all to a company-wide email and everyone outside of your department saw your lame pun. This one was doomed from the get go, so it might not be worth trying to salvage. Think of it as a learning experience and some good story fodder. You're young! Now is the time to make mistakes....

 

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So after all that someone decided to hire you. You managed to string together a cohesive narrative on your half-decent resume and voila, you're gainfully employed. At first you're relieved, but then you realize you've only acquired the obligation to work 40 hours a week from the same desk. Also you have, like, real responsibilities. Look on the bright side, you now have dental insurance. Everyone loves the dentist, right?

 

Employment situation got you down? Check out these articles: 

Jobs You Wanted as a Kid: Expectation vs. Reality

8 Things You Should Stop Including in Your Resume

 What You Say in Job Interviews and What You Really Mean