6. Bicycle Store learned ... 'daylight robbery'
1 Million Pokedollars for a bicycle!? Are you shitting me with that? If a bike costs a million dollars... I guess I'll just never be able to afford rent in the world of Pokemon. Where is anyone suppose to make the kind of money it takes to survive in this corrupt world of inexplicable inflation? Team Rocket is sounding pretty dope right about now.
7. That's Badgest!
In this world, if you don't have gym badges they usually have someone that will block your path or prevent you from entering certain buildings... A new form of status or class discrimination based on... how good you are... at... at... beating Pokemon with other Pokemon. Not having gym badges in the world of Pokemon is like; not having Instagram followers in high school, or being an actor with no credits in Hollywood, or not having a Louis Vuitton scarf on and still trying to get into a Kanye party. You get it. You just won't belong, the only option is getting as many gym badges as possible which means... If you suck at animal cruelty there is literally no getting ahead in this world.
8. Forever 11...
Apparently in the world of Pokemon, birthday's aren't a thing? Because we've been 11 years old for like 10 years now. That's right living in the world of Pokemon comes with the price of perpetually being on the verge of entering your 'awkward' phase. Why live in a world where you have to ride a bike to the location of the major crime syndicate you're going to put an end to because you'll never be old enough to get a drivers license.
9. Kadabrah ... so not chill.
According to the Kadabra FireRed pokedex entry, "It happened one morning- a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra" - So possibly the least tight thing that could ever happen, waking up one morning as a creepy mustache wearing spoon wielding psychic fox. How would you explain that? Do you then live under constant threat of other 11-year-olds throwing Pokeballs at you!? Is that creep mustache shave-able!? Can you actually put the spoon down or is it attached to you permanently... Will you have to lie about always wanting to eat cereal!? I don't know... It's too much... Too many questions and too much stress! Why live in a world where that is possible!?
10. Nihilism. was caught! Give nickname to Nihilism?
Arceus is a Pokemon that is described throughout your journey as the creator of the entire Pokemon world, your creator, the creator of everything... and you can catch it in a little pokeball if you beat it enough with your other Pokemon. What!? That is a very disappointing answer to life's big questions. Where do you go from there? What even is the point of anything anymore at that point. What even is existence? Do we commence the existential crisis? The all mighty creator of everything's weakness is a 11 year old's glorified pets and a small ball!?
Again, Team Rocket is sounding pretty dope right about now.