Thanks to some recent events, I've come to recognize that much of my life has been spent brainwashed by a cult. In an effort to save others from suffering the same fate as me, I have decided to share with you today some telltale warning signs I noticed during my time on the inside. If you recognize any of these in your own life, please seek help. 

 

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Faith and trust are paramount precepts of any cult. The group practices the same habits, reads the same literature, and studies the same canon. Objectors are shunned as outcasts. Even when all logic suggests that something will not live up to the divine expectations set forth by the cause, you're still expected to treat it like it will be something worthy of worship. It's a dangerous cycle that leads to huge amounts of disappointment and heartache.


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The power of a cult lies in its abilities to grow. As such, members are frequently tasked with the job of bringing in others. Though this may sound harmless enough, the incessant lobbying never ends. In the brief time since the trailer dropped alone, I've seen many of my friends transform into fanatic zombies.


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He is the man with the original vision and wields the power that unites all followers. At first he draws you in with some genuinely good ideas, but as time passes you start to realize he's heavily flawed. So much so that he goes back on his previous good ideas you liked so much and ruins them. I MEAN, HONESTLY! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK THAT ADDING CGI TO THE ORIGINALS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA?!?!!



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Because of the nature of the cult, its members can be driven to extreme actions with deadly consequences. Theft, kidnapping and even murder are all common crimes committed by those brainwashed by by a cult. In my own personal experience, literally all I said was that the new light saber looked kind of dumb and I was immediately bombarded people telling that I was wrong and I should kill myself. Really scary stuff.

 

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I'm not looking forward to shelling out $15 for The Force Awakens.

 

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