1. The "Ross Snow"

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The Ross is always sitting next to you and kicking your legs beneath the table. Multiple times a day. Every time he apologizes and is all like, "Oh sorry, I thought that was the table." Bullshit, Ross.

 

2. The "Emily Heller"

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The Emily, in on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, always puts all of her snack trash in the middle of your COMMUNAL table. LIKE, HELLOOOO EMILY, THAT'S EVERYONE'S TABLE SPACE.

 

3. The "Amir Khan"

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The Amir sits at a table all by himself like he's a fucking king or something. He draws on some weird tablet thing that connects to his Mac because he's desperate to flash his money in your face. He also never texts you back when you ask him if he wants to go see Exodus: Gods and Kings with you.

 

4. The "Tim Latterner"

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The Tim is ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIS UNCLE HENRY LATTERNER.

 

5. The "Trevor Lyon"

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Nine times out of ten, The Trevor is GETTING UP AND WALKING AROUND. To him, I guess the workplace is just his own little neighborhood park. He's always bobbing around with that smirk on his face and that black and grey striped polo. People are trying to work here, Trevor.

 

6. The "Willie Muse"

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The Willie sits directly behind you and blares Ke$ha's 2012 album "Warrior" through his headphones at a volume he's clearly never thought twice about. His two computer screens are fucking bullshit and I hate them.

 

7. The "Caldwell Tanner & Nathan Yaffe"undefined

They will not stop recording videos for their Drawfee Channel, WHICH THEY HAVE NEVER ONCE INVITED ME TO BE A GUEST ON.

 

8. The "Shea Strauss"  

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The Shea can usually be found giving you this look and saying annoying stuff like, "Ryan if you don't stop staring at people we are going to fire you." 

 

More Coworker Reading Material:

 

How to Avoid Talking to Your Coworkers

 

If Your Co-Worker's Goodbye Email Was Honest

 

The Most Awkward Co-Worker Interaction Ever