Some cultural pioneers on Amazon are combining the commercialization of Christmas with a hip new fetishization of Christmas. Here are some of the more skeevy "holiday collections" and "gift sets" out there, and the weirdest possible person to get them from. Sing along at home!

 

On the first day of Christmas,

my roommate's fiance

gave to me...

Say-It-With-A-Condom Holiday Collection

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On the second day of Christmas,

my dad's boss

gave to me...

Ravaged by Beasts - On Christmas!

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On the third day of Christmas,

"Uncle" Seth, who's not really my unlce, but still

gave to me...

Christmas Sheath Condoms 24 Pack

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On the fourth day of Christmas,

the vet who just put down my cat

gave to me...

Screaming O Horny Holiday Stocking

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On the fifth day of Christmas,

the doctor who just delivered my baby

gave to me...

Rudolph Sex Party Vest

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On the sixth day of Christmas,

the guy leering at me on the train

gave to me...

Variety Santa Tops Condom Pops

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