So you're a thirty-something just working to make in the corporate world while simply trying to maintain a slowly growing fire. But, you're gonna meet a few characters like these on the way.


 

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Uh-oh! This one's a real riot around the office, and she won't go light on you. With lines like, "I don't know, CAN you?" and "Who are you? What the hell are you doing with that can of gasoline??" A little bit of a meddlesome receptionist, but she'll come around to your kooky ways. And maybe you'll burn her up last in your flaming inferno.

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Oh Greg/Dave/Mike, you're always there with a box of donut and a smile. We all know how you ALWAYS ask "I thought Todd let you go weeks ago? We've all seen that Facebook post you made, and we're really worried about you. God, are those matches?" No Greg/Dave/Mike, I DON'T want to go to your Game of Thrones office party. Let's hope that he hangs out by the water cooler, or else he'll have no way of making it- if he doesn't die of smoke inhalation. He did make copies for you that one time, though.

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Todd, Todd, Todd. He's gonna be the one that's always riding your ass about that report or mental incident. Todd's the guy that you're definitely going to come across when climbing up that corporate ladder or down the fire escape after you've blocked it from the outside. He may have handed you your first pink slip last Thursday (because you punched a hole in the wall out of anger, kind of like that episode of The Office but without the comedic pretense), but I think that it's been forgotten and forgiven. And I'll warn you this: He has more in common with the devil than just the inevitable fire surrounding him.

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A walking cliché if you've ever seen one. You know what, he was kind of a nice guy. When he let you go, he was super comforting about it and even gave you a Starbucks gift card. And if you're really being honest about it, you sort of did this whole "fire" thing for him. The flames of the copier in the back room aren't as hot as the flames in your heart. Robert Smith from Iowa, LET'S RUN AWAY TOGETHER FROM THE ASHES OF THIS OFFICE AND ELOPE BEHIND A T.G.I. FRIDAY'S. AHHHHH THE BURN OF PASSION.

 

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She's had like two kids or something! Classic Brenda, am I right??