undefined Every ethnically ambiguous (read: non-white) person gets asked the question "Where are you from?" and "But where are you really from?" on a regular basis. How come only they get this special treatment? White people also deserve the chance to explain repeatedly that they're really a fourth German, an eighth Polish, a bit Irish, a tad Scandinavian and definitely also part Cherokee.


undefined A white person never gets asked in a classroom to be the voice of an entire race of people. That is so unfair. Much like the black student is singled out after The Color Purple and the Asian student for The Joy Luck Club, a white student should be selected to speak for all white people after reading literally any other book in the school curriculum. This is such a cool opportunity to place the entire history and perspective of a people on the shoulders of an unsuspecting teenager, and white students will never get to experience that.


undefined No matter how greatly they endeavor, white people will never be seen as "exotic." Indeed, efforts in wearing kimonos and sombreros will only lead to long lectures on cultural appropriation. Talk about a glass ceiling you can't break through!


undefinedEveryone knows birthdays are special because they only happen once a year. Similarly, Black History Month is special because it only happens in February. So then why is White History Month all the other months of the year? Can't we study it less to make it seem more magical?

 undefinedOr the j-word. Or the g-word. Or any racial slur, for that matter. This makes it so difficult to sing along to songs and like, be offensive.

 undefined You know that awkward moment when you show up at the prom and another girl is wearing the same dress as you?! Ugh. Being a white person means reliving that awkward moment every single time you watch television, because nearly everyone on it is just as white as you. It's practically like looking into a mirror. So awkward.

 undefinedMore Caucasian students earn bachelor's degrees than any other ethnic group! This makes it way less impressive when a white kid goes to college. But that's not their fault! They shouldn't be penalized just because they happened to be born with different melanin content! There should be a system that levels the playing field and protects white students from being discriminated against so that they too receive equal attention and praise for their college acceptances.


undefined With great power comes great responsibility - and who likes responsibility, am I right?