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Everything's free, incredibly fun, and orchestrated just for you. You're going to want to zoom through it, but take your time. Otherwise you'll wind up not feeling so good.

 

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Everything's greasy, unkempt, and generally underprepared. It's an ugly experience, but undeniably builds some character.

  

 

 

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Convenient, lazy, and fucking phenomenal. It's the least amount of work you'll ever do, and because of that, the most satisfying. It's like birthday party pizza all over again!

 

 

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Polished, professional-looking, and honestly trying a little too hard. It might feel disingenuous, but people are going to start looking at you with a little more respect.

 

 

 

 

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Heck, the hard part's done. Now's when you kick back and enjoy the sweet fruits of labor that have been stockpiled up for God knows how long.

 

 

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Assistance is required.

 

 

 

PEPPERONIS ARE RUBIES, THE CRUSTS HAVE GENIES INSIDE, AND EVERY SLICE IS SERVED ON FLUFFY CLOUD PLATES.

 

 

 

 Second helpings of pizza:

 

22 Reasons Pizza is Like Sex

 

The 9 CRAZIEST Pizza Box Drawing Requests

 

The 15 Cheesiest Pizza Box Jokes