Maybe the rolling ladder was only used once in cartoon history, but that once was enough to instill a desire in every child's heart to glide across a library midsong.

However effortlessly Belle pulls it off, every time I've tried to do this it ends with a bruised knee and a surly escort out of Half Price Books.

 



Cartoon kisses are crisp n' clean. There's no gross slurping noises or dangling strands of spit... just good ol' fashioned two-dimensional romance. Unless you're watching the weird shit, but that's on you for clicking it.

Obviously you, Reader, are an excellent kisser, but probably the only time you are watching people kiss is when that couple on the subway is trying to suck the other person's tongue dry. And that certainly can't compete with Kim and Ron's KISS OF THE CENTURY.

 



Best case scenario: you slide down a staircase banister for a few seconds before abruptly and clumsily stopping yourself from falling face first.
Even professional skateboarders -- the most accomplished rail sliders -- still fall down all the time.

 



When dudes catcall women IRL, it's dehumanizing, but when a nonhuman cartoon's pupils pop out of its eyes and heart leaps from its chest? Yes, cool. Take me, you anatomically impossible fool.

 

 


Even when cartoons are doing clumsy or embarrassing things, they always perform at Olympic levels of acrobatics.