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UH OH! You just told your ex-boyfriend from the seventh grade that you still "lvoe" him. Keep scrolling... keep scrolling... wow! You also just told him that you're "sosoososooo sryey for everythingss that happedn" so you effectively just apologized for dumping him at Matthew's Bar Mitzvah. That's gonna be weird to deal with later!

 

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When you don't remember what happened, that means your body is biologically TELLING you that you should not remember. This is a science fact. (EDIT: this might not be a science fact). Hearing stories about the pool you jumped into or the firecracker you tried to eat is infinitely worse than the hangover itself as you nod along, laughing, zero dignity attached.

 

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Wow! You spent a LOT of money last night. How were you intact enough to type in your PIN? And what exactly was worth the $168?? And why does your lower back hurt? Is that a tattoo? Yes. Yes it is. That's a tattoo you thought would be super cool, super fun, and a "great impromptu decision" that shows your "spontaneity."

 

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Who is that in the mirror? Where did Madam Mim from the Sword in the Stone come from? You thought you knew what you looked like, and you thought that was sort of decent, but it turns out you don't know the very depths of human garbage that can grace your face the morning after.

 

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There's nothing worse than saying things like, "So how do you spell your name?" while he answers, "Oh, it's Joe. Like, the regular way." over eggs in the morning.

 

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I will take number waking up next to someone I don't know over this one ANY day. Waking up next to someone you know might not always turn into a "When Harry Met Sally" situation; it could always and actually definitively turn into if Sally slept with any other guy in the movie. It's not adorkable, it's weird, and it definitely makes the morning after conversation so much worse than introducing yourself.

 

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"But you said you 'lvoed' me!!!!!"

 

 

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