In an attempt to further undermine President Barack Obama's authority to negotiate anywhere they can, the Gang of 47 has sent this open letter to Sasha and Malia Obama:

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March 10, 2015

 

An open letter to Sasha and Malia Obama:

 

It has come to our attention while observing your bedtime negotiations with your Father, Barack Obama, that even though you are teenagers now, you may not fully understand your parents' relationship.  Thus, we are writing to bring to your attention two features of your parents' relationship--the power to make binding parental agreements and the different character of your parents--which you should seriously consider as negotiations progress.

 

First, your Father, while the President of the United States, negotiates parental agreements at the consent of your Mother, Michelle Obama. Anything not approved by your Mother is a mere Father/Daughter agreement.

 

Second, your parents have different characteristics.  For example, your father, the president, may only be around 2-3 days a week, while your Mother is around 7 days a week.

 

What these two parental provisions mean is that we will consider any agreement regarding your bedtime that is not approved by your Mother as nothing more than a Father/Daughter agreement between President Obama and Sasha and Malia Obama.  The next time only your Mother is around, she could ignore this Father/Daughter bedtime agreement with the wag of a finger. She may also exercise this discretion at any time, Father around or not.

 

We hope this letter enriches your knowledge of your parents' relationship and promotes mutual understanding and clarity in your bedtime negotiations progress.

 

Sincerely,

 

Senator Tom Cotton, R-AR     
Senator Orrin Hatch, R-UT      
Senator Charles Grassley, R-IA       
Senator Mitch McConnell, R-KY      
Senator Richard Shelby, R-AL         
Senator John McCain, R-AZ 
Senator James Inhofe, R-OK           
Senator Pat Roberts, R-KS   
Senator Jeff Sessions, R-AL  
Senator Michael Enzi, R-WY
Senator Michael Crapo, R-ID           
Senator Lindsey Graham, R-SC       
Senator John Cornyn, R-TX             
Senator Richard Burr, R-NC
Senator John Thune, R-SD  
Senator Johnny Isakson, R-GA
Senator David Vitter, R-LA  
Senator John A. Barrasso, R-WY     
Senator Roger Wicker, R-MS           
Senator Jim Risch, R-ID
Senator Mark Kirk, R-IL       
Senator Roy Blunt, R-MO     
Senator Jerry Moran, R-KS
Senator Rob Portman, R-OH           
Senator John Boozman, R-AR          
Senator Pat Toomey, R-PA  
Senator John Hoeven, R-ND
Senator Marco Rubio, R-FL  
Senator Ron Johnson, R-WI 
Senator Rand Paul, R-KY
Senator Mike Lee, R-UT       
Senator Kelly Ayotte, R-NH 
Senator Dean Heller, R-NV  
Senator Tim Scott, R-SC       
Senator Ted Cruz, R-TX       
Senator Deb Fischer, R-NE  
Senator Shelley Moore Capito, R-WV         
Senator Bill Cassidy, R-LA    
Senator Cory Gardner, R-CO           
Senator James Lankford, R-OK       
Senator Steve Daines, R-MT
Senator Mike Rounds, R-SD
Senator David Perdue, R-GA           
Senator Thom Tillis, R-NC   
Senator Joni Ernst, R-IA       
Senator Ben Sasse, R-NE     
Senator Dan Sullivan, R-AK