Here are some Gmail filters that you can set up that will hopefully make your Inbox size and anxiety level lower. Because adulthood is all about getting your shit together!
APPLY TO - emails from "Power Company" OR "Gas Company" OR "Water Company" OR "Your Landlord";
If you never saw the email, you never got the email! Right?!? Plus, who needs power or heat or water or shelter? You still have that gym membership you don't use, so you can always get a warm shower and WiFi. Don't forget to stock up on free combs and clean towels because pretty soon you'll be sleeping at your office.
APPLY TO - emails From "Your Boss" that don't have the words "raise" OR "promotion" OR "Free Hot Dog Friday";
This jerk? He has your email address from that March Madness pool he unsuccessfully tried to set up and now you're reachable 24/7 to "bounce ideas off of". What's so important he couldn't of just woke you up at your desk and told you? And when the hell are we having another Free Hot Dog Friday???
APPLY TO - all emails from "Your Girlfriend";
Mark as important and read;
Apply the Labels BAE, I Heart Her, Future Misses;
Remember when you gave her your password to accept that Fantasy Football trade because you were sick with food poisoning from Free Hot Dog Friday? (ah, see, we haven't had a Free Hot Dog Friday since October! Those cheap bastards!). SHE SAVED YOUR PASSWORD. SHE'S READING YOUR EMAILS. You're way too lazy to change your password, so clean out that Inbox. Delete those JDate requests! Unsubscribe from that Kitten of the Day newsletter! THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!