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"Where are the strippers? Is that a stripper? Why aren't strippers here now? Do you think the hotel has strippers with breakfast?" This guy is so obsessed with strippers, you kind of get the impression that he's never seen a naked woman before. He'll get way too excited when he sees strippers for the first time and will blow through his entire party budget as soon as he sees his first nipple. He'll then spend the rest of his time asking when there will be more strippers.

 

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This guy's sole purpose is to try to talk the groom out of marriage. Pointing out pretty girls in the bar, casually mentioning how the groom won't be able to hang out like this when he's married--these are the hallmarks of the Doomsday Prophet. Not the best option to have as your best man.

 

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A key to any bachelor party, the Babysitter keeps things from getting too out of hand. Now, you of course want some craziness at a bachelor party, but this guy is there to ensure that no one dies and that any jail time spent is both brief and pleasant. A thankless job, it takes a real man to fill it.

 

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Essentially the opposite of the Babysitter, this guy wants things to get as crazy as they can get. Not only that, but he wants to do so in the least-creative way possible. Remember in "The Hangover" when they found a baby? He wants to find a baby. Remember how Alan from "The Hangover" wore that stupid satchel? He wears a stupid satchel. Remember how Alan from "The Hangover" got punched in the face by Mike Tyson? He... ok, even he doesn't want to get punched in the face by Mike Tyson.

 

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It's this guy's one chance this year to party, and goddammit, he's gonna party. Of course, he'll drink way too much within the first two hours and spend the rest of the weekend wearing dark sunglasses and struggling to keep down any food that he eats, but he'll say it was worth it. Just stand back from him when he says it though, he smells like puke.

 

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His girlfriend let him go to the bachelor party, so obviously she is cool with everything that entails. Although, she doesn't really like it when he drinks liquor, so maybe he'll just stick to beer. And he didn't really discuss strip clubs with her, but he can probably go as long there are TVs there he can watch. And don't tag him in any pictures where girls are present... his girlfriend totally trusts him, but he doesn't want her to get the wrong idea or anything.

 

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In this guy's mind, a bachelor party is not a celebration of a man's upcoming marriage, it's an excuse to act like a total cad under the guise of celebrating a man's upcoming marriage. This guy will use every trick in the book to lure women to the groom in the hopes that he will somehow feed off of the groom's matrimonial energy and then use it to entrap whatever unlucky girl had the misfortune of getting caught in his snare.

 

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Say you want to talk to that pretty bachelorette party across the bar but don't know how to approach them. That's where the Icebreaker comes in. This guy is so friendly, goofy, and non-threatening that girls can't help but feel comfortable around him, meaning that everyone who's friends with him can't be that bad either. Right?