Far too long mankind has been plagued by the stench of farts that are exhumed by the human body and every other living creature on Earth. It's time that something be done about it, and Pendleton, Oregon resident Peter Walters is stepping up to take action and wrote a letter asking his city council to ban farts.
No joke, the guy is tired of having to suffer the repercussions of his fellow citizens eating Taco Bell and pummeling his nostrils with their ass gas.
I'm not even sure how a city would control farting, would they try to crack down on only audible farts or would their focus be on the silent but deadly kind? Would cops have to undergo specialized training for handling fart violators or would there be a special division of the police to handle such a thing? And if so, can they be called Fart Force?
All very important questions the city of Pendleton will have to answer in time.