Sure a chameleon is an okay pet, BUT wouldn't you rather have a baby Godzilla lizard? That sounds waaaay cooler, right? Or maybe you're a single guy who wears socks with sandals and are in the market for a snake to wear on your shoulders while strolling past women in the park. Jeff Wysaski has the perfect solution and took it upon himself to replace the labels of animals at the pet store with more accurate titles. Because a Haitian Voodoo Death Bird just sounds more badass than simply "bird."

snake bird lizard rat hamster frog jelly

For some animals though there just aren't any improvements that can be done. Sorry, turtle. 

turtle