We all know dying is pretty radical, but did you ever consider the totally BADASS things that happen when you die? Stuff so badass that it can only happen to you once you can no longer feel pain or breathe. The only problem is you're not alive to enjoy it.
But it's not that big of a problem, since you've got a lotta badass things going on now that you're dead.
The world kinda sucks, and dying is your way of exiting this crummy existence. But just leaving is for wimps - you wanna flip the bird at the world as you careen straight into Death City USA, and that's where shitting your pants when you die comes into play. Yep, bowels have been known to evacuate themselves when you die. So basically, as your last act on Earth, you leave a huge mess for someone ELSE to clean up. Shit has never been so unshitty.
Ever think about how weird coffins are? Real weird, right? Like, why would you need to be kept in a box when you're buried? You're dead! You're not going anywhere and you don't need to be protected from anything. Unless...you're not being protected, you're being CONTAINED. That's right - coffins are hella badass, because the implication is that you need to be kept trapped in case your corpse is ever reanimated and compelled to devour the flesh of the living.
Speaking of how great and badass it is to be dead (objectively true), anyone you owed money to is now permanently screwed. It's like declaring bankruptcy, but from living - you can take out a billion loans from banks, your friends, loan sharks, whoever; spend all of it livin' an awesome life; and then die before you have to pay anyone back! Talk about rock 'n roll.