1. 

vamp

He must be by now, right?

via slightlywarped

 

2. 

mothers bra

Just ask your dad to help!

via vivas

 

3. 

future hus

You just have to try harder. Maybe lock him up?

via viralnova

 

4. 

eat me

It's only real if she says she's going to sautée you. 

via helpfeedthetroll

 

5.

 penis inside me

Oh you're both 21? Then yes, normal. 22...not so normal. 

via thoughtcatalog