I hate to break it to you, but those beloved Jurassic Park toys of your childhood -- pure trash. Yep, Mattel or whichever toy company was responsible behind the merchandise for the Jurassic Park franchise didn't know jack squat about dinosaurs. In an effort to stomp all over the childhood nostalgia of millennials everywhere, Mashable got a dinosaur expert to examine and brutally critique dinosaur toys. Damn you, science!

I suppose he thinks the chaos effect mutated dinosaur toys weren't legit either. I don't care what this dinosaur expert says, I'm gonna hold on to my neon-colored bullshitosaurus memories.