Jurassic Park 5


Chris Pratt Jurassic World

"Ok everyone, we're about to open the dinosaur park again. I know everyone's really nervous and skeptical because of what happened the last four times, and I TOTALLY get that. But trust me, we've learned from our mistakes and taken all the necessary precautions to really make the park succeed this time."

 

Chris Pratt Jurassic Park 5


"AHHHH!!!! It didn't work! The dinosaurs got loose again and they're killing people!!! My son slipped and fell into the huge vat of T-Rex treats! DAMMIT!"



Jurassic Park 6


Chris Pratt Jurassic World


"Ok, I know a lot of you don't want to re-open the dinosaur park, and again, I totally sympathize. But let me just ask you this: Who's familiar with the expression "lightning never strikes the same place twice?" It's a scientific expression that basically means once something has happened, it will never happen again. So when something has happened FIVE times, it will really, REALLY, never happen again. Catch my drift?"

 

Chris Pratt Jurassic Park 5


"AHHHHH!!! The dinos got loose again and they're killing people!!! Two raptors are batting my daughter back and forth on a tetherball tether! DAMMIT!"



Jurassic Park 7

Chris Pratt Jurassic World


"Ok, so we're gonna re-open the dinosaur park, BUT-- hang on, before you say anything, let me finish -- we have vouchers for everyone that GUARANTEE if anything goes wrong again, which it WON'T, everyone here is entitled to a full refund, travel included, AND free admission to the park when it re-opens again in two years. Also everyone gets suits of "safety armor," which you won't need though, because seriously, we've really got everything down-pat.

You know what they say: Failure is but a necessary step towards getting all the stuff completely right eventually."

 

Chris Pratt Jurassic Park 5


"AHHHHH!!! The dinos got loose again and they're killing people and ripping up the vouchers!!! NOOOO, the armor's just slowing everyone down and making it impossible to run!!! A dilophosaur just climbed INSIDE my nephew's suit of armor and is suffocating him with torn-up vouchers!!! DAMMIT!"