I feel sorry for the McDonald's PR person that has to handle questions about happy meal toys. Because right now he/she is probably in the bathroom trying to talk themselves out of telling a few parents "Hey, stop being dumbasses."

That's because it's being reported that several parents with nothing better to do are concerned that a Minion Happy Meal toy is filling their child's mind with swear words. 

Local news outlets in Florida and Ohio reported this week that concerned parents are interpreting one of the Happy Meal prize's sayings as "What the f--?"

Well, I'm glad they got to the bottom of that, wait a sec... did he say "after two days of investigating." BWHAHAHAAH! A news team wasted two days investigating a speaker that probably cost 1/5 of a penny to manufacture in China?! Bravo, on an ace job, local news. 

The takeaway from all of this scandal seems to be -- dammit, parents, quit being dipshits. 

Okay, maaaaybe I'm being too hard on parents. Maybe they're right and toy makers really are trying to fill the minds of children with perversion. For example...