Portland city officials are powerless to stop an epidemic of dildos hanging from their city's power lines. The dildos first began popping up over the weekend, and now there are hundreds (or at least a few) giant, rubbery, neon dicks hanging from the city's power lines. 

Police have no leads on who is flinging the dildos all over the city -- and surely causing very awkward conversations between parents and young children -- but somewhere out there is a dildo menace on the loose. 

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