They may be called "appetizers", but a more accurate name for them would be "heroes." Apps have been scientifically designed to reach peak deliciousness as efficiently as possible, ensuring that they'll make it from the kitchen to your plate in no time flat. If you're feeling famished at a restaurant, are you really going sit patiently and wait as they prepare your slow entrée? NO. You're going to do the logical thing and deal with your hunger quickly with some French onion dumplings or another, equally great appetizer. Let's take a look at a potato skin, shall we? It's fully loaded with cheese, crispy bacon, green onions, and sour cream. Every square inch of it looks and tastes like a gift down from the gods. Entrées are diluted with side dishes or (Gasp) a garnish, but not appetizers. They're all main event all the time. Each bite is as amazing as the last.
If there's one foolproof way to make friends at a dinner, it's to order a plate of mozzarella sticks and tell people to dig in. Eating out is a social activity, and sharing a plate of apps is as social as you can get. Try to eat a bite of someone's entree and people will respond with angry phrases like "Wow. Rude." or "This is why I didn't want to invite you to this dinner in the first place." With appetizers, it's different. There are no walls.
They say variety is the spice of life, and if that's true, it means that the secret to happiness is probably located somewhere in an appetizer menu. I mean, when you think about it, what do boneless wings, garlic & basil bruschetta flatbreads and pan-seared pot stickers have in common other than great taste? Nothing. And yet they all exist side-by-side in perfect harmony...If only everything could be as perfect.
Entrees may be the "main course" but we all know who the real star of dinnertime is. Apps are a fun, filling, and (for all you adults out there) the perfect compliment to a beer or cocktail. It's time we start giving them the respect they deserve.