Making fun of teens is easy and fun, and it makes us only-marginally-less-stupid grownups feel better about ourselves. But sometimes we rip on teens and 'millennials' for things that aren't even actually that bad, and it just makes us old folks look even dumber. Here are 10 common "GRR TEENS!" things we can stop complaining about:
Stupid teens always texting shit like "l8r" and "btw" and "lol" and "u" -- COME ON, man, type the full words out every single time! It BOTHERS me that you don't type full words out.
Back in my day, before texting, we ALWAYS wrote out the full words when we were, uh, like writing letters and shit. Which I did like, twice in my lifetime. But STILL. I'm MAD teens do this!
People have been taking photos of themselves since the camera was invented 100+ years ago (for the purpose of taking photographs of things, such as people), and before that, people literally posed in still positions for days on end to allow commissioned artists to paint portraits of them.
"Selfies" only seem annoying because the term "selfie" is recent & annoying, and because the people in them are usually young attractive people having fun and that makes us crusty old bittermen want to be like "ggrrrr what they're doing is NEW and BAD!"
Also here's a World War II paratrooper taking a photo of himself as he jumped from a plane. What an annoying vain millennial!
Dumbass kids reading all this crap about fictional teens they can relate to, in clear straightforward prose. Why aren't these jokers reading Infinite Jest and Ulysses like I definitely was when I was in 8th Grade??
Teens reading and enjoying books is a BAD thing if I believe the books are stupid.
Teens now never want to talk to their parents about how their day was or how school is going, they're all too buried in their phones with their short-ass attention spans being like "DURRRR".
When I was a teen, I couldn't WAIT to talk to my parents all the time, especially about how school was going, in lengthy eloquent speeches that I prepared with vigor. And my attention span was (and remains) SO GREAT!
And sure, I'm on my phone all the time now myself, but I totally wouldn't have been if iPhones were around when I was a teen. I would've been like "no thank you! Don't want to get distracted from talking to 'The Cool Two'." (My parents)
Granted, Tweeting about not knowing who Paul McCartney is is really stupid, especially when it takes less time to Google who someone is than it does to complain about not knowing who someone is. But super-megastars aside, is it really that reasonable to expect teens now to be familiar with every single artist who got popular literally 40-50 years before they started getting into music?
Terrifying disclosure: In the 90s, there were some popular musicians from the 1950s I didn't know! There I was, listening to current music and enjoying it, when I had never even HEARD of Carl Perkins or Perry Como! Can you believe what a fucking ASSHOLE I was for that? Everyone who hasn't heard of everyone from before they were born should get made fun of.
On the flipside, people my age constantly PROUDLY declare how they've never heard of any of the musicians or young actors of today. And that's somehow "cool," because everything today SUCKS, but teens not knowing every single pop star from half a century ago are ungrateful philistines. Cool argument.
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