1 Liking a photo before you read the context

Dog Facebook Pic   

OH SHIT! UNLIKE UNLIKE UNLIKE!

 

2 Liking something by accident while scrolling


Uhm, yeah, I loved that photo of your husband being 'one handsome gentleman' in a straw hat pretending to talk to a scarecrow. I deemed it a totally cool pic. I definitely wasn't just scrolling through my feed with my left hand while peeing.

 



Obscure Friend: Happy Birthday


Hmm, not much effort. But I guess I'd be a dick to not like it, right? Ok fine. (Like)

 

Even More Obscure Friend: hbd


Ok that's REAL weak. Ahhh but I like every post EXCEPT one... (Reluctant-Ass Like)

 

4 Reading something infuriating right before bed


Gonna do oneeee last perusal of Facebook while I crawl into bed for a nice calm evening of sleep-getting...

ARTICLE: REMOVING THE CONFEDERATE FLAG IS THE TRUE RACISM BECAU


Aannnd now I'm gonna sit here awake and mad for the next 70 minutes.

 

5 Missing an event because the name was too weird


Jeanette's having going-away drinks Friday? Jeanette's moving to LA??? First I've heard of it!! OHHH WAIIIT, so that's what the Event "An American Drinktale: Jenvil Goes West - TWO KAY FIFTEEEN BITCHES 2 Drunk 2 Furious" meant. I just saw the photoshopped pic of Fievel and Vin Diesel holding tallboys and assumed it was some comedy show I was happily skipping.

 

 

6 Typing out a huge long response to someone then ControlA ControlX deleting it instead of actually posting it

 

You got off EASY this time, Facebook dude who I don't even know but keeps saying obviously wrong shit and no one's calling him out. ...But I'm keeping this comment on my clipboard in case I change my mind in the next five minutes or get drunker.