Make no mistake about it, pandas are cunning jerks that will game the system to satisfy their selfish cravings. I know they look cute when they do stupid things like this:

But these fat-asses are really just taking advantage of their endangered status and zookeeper hospitality. Case in point, a panda named Yuan Yuan at the Taipei Zoo is accused of FAKING a pregnancy just so she could be treated like a spoiled queen. 

Zookeepers were excited with the prospect of Yuan Yuan expecting after artificial insemination when she began showing signs of a pregnancy such as a loss of appetite and a thickening of the uterus. Yuan Yuan was then given round-the-clock pampering with extra fruit and bamboo, and even moved into an AIR-CONDITIONED enclosure. 

So was Yuan Yuan pregnant? Hell No! The jerk was just stringing the zoo along -- typical Yuan Yuan -- because she felt she was entitled to stuff her face with food in a comfy air-conditioned apartment. 


Source: chinadaily

"After showing prenatal signs, the [panda] 'mothers-to-be' are [pampered]," Wu Kongju, an expert at the Chengdu Research Base, told CNN. "So some clever pandas have used this to their advantage to improve their quality of life."

Dammit, Yuan Yuan, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. No wonder pandas are known as the assholes of the Qinling Mountains.

Source: giphy