4. Hitler couldn't handle scenes of violence against animals in movies.

oldyeller

It's pretty well known Hitler was a vegetarian in his adult life (with possibly a few exceptions) - and not for health reasons either (necessarily). It seemed that Hitler felt eating meat was morally wrong, and that the slaughter of animals for food was cruel and disgusting. It's weird where moral lines get drawn, huh?

Anyways, Hitler hated the thought of animals coming to harm so much that when he was watching movies, he would close his eyes or turn away if there were ever a scene depicting violence against animals, and wait for someone to tell him when the scene had ended.

I mean - it's nice that Hitler didn't wanna hurt animals, but what a huge baby. It's a movie, dude! You're responsible for one of the most gruesome genocides ever and the largest war in history, you should be able to handle this stuff.

 

5. Hitler never got married because he was convinced he was super hot.

adolf

Well, to be fair, Hitler and Eva Braun WERE married, about a day or two before they committed suicide as part of the least romantic honeymoon in history. But prior to that, Hitler had been in a romantic relationship with Braun for over a decade - but refused to wed her, or even be seen in public with her, as he felt he would be a more attractive leader to the women of Germany if he remained single.

Sorry to break it to you several decades later, Hitler, but balding guys with dorky mustaches who inject bull cum into themselves are gonna be pretty unattractive all the time, married or not.

 

6. Hitler was a mediocre painter.

bobross

To be fair to Hitler (something no one needs to be, btw), he wasn't terrible at painting - he made some very nice landscapes and did some pretty solid architecture, but everything was markedly plain. But the real knock against his painting skills was that he couldn't paint people.

hitlerpainting

Most of the time, Hitler would just leave people out of the scenes entirely - and the few times he DID include people, they were basically featureless lumps with no definition to them. His painting skills were so mediocre, that he was rejected from the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna TWICE.

 

So the next time you think about Hitler, remember that he was a farting, drug-addled, self-obsessed, scaredy-cat shitty painter who sucked at pranks.