When you invite him to hang out, he always brings other people along

Okay, so he hasn't been finding excuses to hang out with you alone for some solid one-on-one time. But there's really no need to worry here! It's totally possible that he just wants his friends by his side to help see if you can really hang, so that he can make sure you guys would be a good romantic match. *~Sigh~*, it's so sweet how much he cares about his friends and trusts their judgment!

 

He confides in you about his sex life and his girl problems

This is an amazing step in your relationship. I mean first of all, he's obviously trying to make you jealous. And plus, he is clearly just showing you that he can be vulnerable in front of you and that he trusts you--and trust and openness are necessities for any successful relationship. It's perfect, because when he dumps his "girlfriend" and realizes that he's finally ready to date you, things will be super comfortable between you two and you won't have any issues!!

 

Hahahaha, he's SO funny and smart when he says things like that, because he's OBVIOUSLY just making a sneaky reference to Balinese folklore and Germanic and Greek mythology where twin incest was like, totally a common storyline feature. He's SUCH a subtle flirt!!!!

 

He calls you buddy

OMG, it's sooooooo cute how he has that speech problem where he always mispronounces "baby" and it comes out like "buddy!!" He's proud of who he is regardless of his pronunciation issues and you'll always stand by him for that. Plus, it's not like years ago before you guys really got close when he was calling you "friendo." This is SO different.


He asks you for advice about how to plan the perfect proposal for his girlfriend of five years

Open your eyes, dummy! He's asking YOU for advice for how to plan the perfect proposal for his girlfriend because he's secretly going to propose to YOU!!! He needs to hear all about the flash mob and the ring inside the chocolate fountain and the flock of rare South American birds that spell out "will you marry me?" mid-flight so that he can nail every detail and sweep you off your feet!

 

He asks you to make a toast to him and his wife at their 10th anniversary party

Okay fine, so he didn't propose to you years ago like you expected. All he needed was 10 years to "be in love with someone else" so he could build up suspense! This is how he always planned it! He secretly wanted you to object at his wedding and was torn when you didn't-- so when he asked you to make that 10th anniversary toast, he was really just waiting for that moment where he listens to you talk about his wife Tess but really it's about you and he understands the subtext and rethinks his entire life and realizes he's made a terrible mistake and a week later you've eloped and you're sitting on the beach in St. Croix sipping daiquiris and you both realize you're in paradise RIGHT, ERIC???!!!?? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE, ERIC!!! AND NO SHUT UP NO I'M NOT A DELUSIONAL CLINGY PERSON WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

 

He gets a restraining order against you

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder...and a guaranteed 100 yards of absence must mean his heart is fond as fuck right now.