Status from Son: Women can be so difficult Guy: Haha Guy 2: Preach Mom: Is that why youve dating your hand for the past 18 years, haha Son: MOM OMG

2 Status: WCW My Future girlfriend A picture of Emma Stone Guy: Haha youll have fight me for her Mom: Girlfriend Wont your tubesock get jealous Guy: Haha Son: Mom, please stop

3 Status: Cant beat dinner with friends The guy taking a selfie with his friends Gal: Wish I could be there Guy: so jealous Mom: Haha, I didnt know you played with anyone but yourself :P

Status: Bad Day UGH Mom: Why dont you jerk off some more That usually cheers you up Son: Mom, Im seriously going to block you Guy: Feel better, dude

Just a selfie Mom: Wow A moment when youre not jerking off I never thought Id see the day

Off to New York for the week So nice to get away from it all Mom: Oh no A whole week where I wont have to spend my night pretending like I dont hear you jerking off Whatever will I do Son: Please dont call me, mom Mom: How could I possibly Youd never have a free hand to answer the phone anyway

New Jeans: A picture of the guy wearing jeans Mom: How long before those jeans are covered in your jizz stains, huh jerkie Son: Mom this is getting out of hand Mom: Your dick should be getting out of hand, but lord knows you wont let that happen Mom: Sick bastard

8 Even though you love them, parents can be real jerks sometimes Mom: yeah, well sons that are constantly jerking off can be real disappointments Guy: Mrs this is getting really mean now Gal: Yeah, lay off Mom: Judge all you want but you dont have to live with it

Jerking off Are you happy now, mom Mom: Honey, please be careful about what you post People can see this Son: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME