Wow, what a great amendment. Really starts the Bill of Rights off with a bang - freedom of speech, religion, press, and assembly, all in one. This is like The Avengers of amendments.
I mean, c'mon - gotta give it up for no unreasonable search and seizures. My person, house, effects, AND papers? All totally covered. No one can search my many papers, unless it's reasonable. Hear that, Government? You CANNOT search my paper detailing the list of Sonic body pillows I plan to buy unless you get a warrant.
The right of due process, no self-incrimination, compensation for cases of eminent domain, and no double jeopardy, all rolled into one heck of an amendment. I think I know what happened here - the Founding Fathers were about halfway through the Bill of Rights and were like "oh shit we got, like, at least 14 more rights we gotta guarantee. Maybe just combine a bunch of them into the next one, that way we won't be stuck with cramming 9 rights into the last amendment." Really great amendment, but pretty sloppy.
Kinda weird that the whole big "no cruel and unusual punishment" thing is basically an afterthought to "no excessive bail or fines." Like, I'd way rather pay a high bail than get tortured. Still, gotta love amendments that promise not to overcharge or torture you (in weird ways, at least. I guess they can still torture you as long as it's usual)
So, basically, your right to a fair trial. Pretty good - except did you see Making a Murderer? Doesn't seem like "fair trial" is all that guaranteed, based on that one Netflix documentary series I recently watched. Frankly, I think this might just be some kinda decoy amendment that doesn't really mean anything.
Eh, just sorta guarantees jury trials for federal civil cases. As far as the justice amendments go, not too impressive. As long as you don't mess up anything worth less than $20, your rights will be upheld. Be very careful to not mess with anything only worth $19 though.
Oof, if this were just "everyone get guns," this would be a way better amendment. Instead, it says you need to be part of a well-regulated militia? Uh, I don't want to be in ANY militia, let alone a well-regulated one. I guess I never realized that all the gun owners in this country were also members of well-regulated militias. Pretty impressive, honestly.
Uh, I mean, sure. I guess it's good that they're guaranteeing soldiers won't show up and start living in my house, but that's a REAL specific right to guarantee, especially in the #3 slot. Like, my concern day-to-day is pretty rarely about whether a bunch of soldiers will show up and just declare my apartment a free AirBnB. I guess this might have been a more pressing concern 200 years ago, but you'd think this coulda been handled with a footnote somewhere that says "oh yeah BTW soldiers can't break down your door and automatically declare themselves roommates."
Wow, kinda lazy, right? "If we forgot any rights you might have, uhhh, you still have them, we just didn't feel the need to list them all." I get that they were kinda in a hurry and didn't have enough time to write in your right to privacy, but at least it implies we have a whole bunch of BONUS rights we don't know about.
Honestly, kinda a cop-out, amendment-wise. "Hey, if we forgot anything, the States gotta do it." Ugh, just check your work and be thorough next time, Founding Fathers, instead of trying to pass the buck on who's responsible for what down to the states. And this is the last amendment in the Bill of Rights - not exactly leaving on a strong note. Really disappointing finale to a pretty solid set of amendments.