If you ever were a big enough asswipe to do any of these things, please kindly blast yourself right into outerspace. 

1.

diploma

via dsully1328

2.

water

via dsully1328

3.

bong

via reddit

4.

tents

via webdevbrian

5.

cakes

via ConfederacyOfDunces

6.

braille

via leron45

7.

old people

via jokideo