Sgt. Abraham Ford has a way with words. Allow us to translate...

1. Translation: "I value a monkey's left testicle more than your opinion."

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Source: joeynoonan

2. Translation: "Stuff is being handled appropriately."

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Source: bestoftv

3. Translation: "I don't approve of unfinished business."

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Source: teepublic

4. Translation: "My boy Rick knows more than you."

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Source: germaldino

5. Translation: "Your dad was a dick."

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Source: pintrest