1. Way Younger Than You Person = Pot

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

You met them through a kinda sketchy friend, but you are REALLY digging them. They give you a new appreciation of music, they've got you smiling more, and they have a cool-sounding name. I mean - they're still TECHNICALLY not legal (only 17), but c'mon, it's pretty close. Still, it's just not legal enough that you get kinda paranoid that you're going to get in trouble.

 

2. Way Older Than You Person = Heroin

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

They're mostly too old for a lot of activities, so you mostly just sit around and relax when you're with them. You end up spending a weird amount of time fixating on veins, but at least they've given you a new appreciation of The Wire.

 

3. Drama-Addict = Cocaine

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

You're extremely high energy all the time these days - after all, you've gotta stay on your toes because you two are constantly fighting about all kinds of stuff. It's got you high-strung and twitchy, but the real problem is how expensive this gets (since you end up spending so much money on make-up gifts).



4. Neat Freak = Adderall

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

You're unnaturally focused and sharp all of a sudden - you're hyper-aware of your surroundings and HOLY SHIT somehow like a week just passed you by and you're PRETTY SURE you spent the entire weekend reorganizing your shelves.

 

5. Hyper-Into Nature Person = Mushrooms

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

You really thought they would make you feel more connected to nature and the world - but the leave you mostly just feeling tired and super-thirsty (from all the hiking).



6. Someone Who's Into Clubbing = Meth

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

You feel alive and great when you're with them, but you feel pretty shitty and awful afterwards. Worse, you always look run down and exhausted too. Plus, your teeth are all fucked up now (you keep getting elbowed in the mouth at the club for some reason).

 

7. Actually Crazy Person = Tobacco

The People You Date Are Basically Drugs

You keep having to step outside every hour or so whenever you go anywhere (to have a loud screaming match) and everyone you know constantly reminds you how bad they are for you.

Even you know - deep down inside - that they'll probbbbbably end up killing you someday, but ehhhh.